I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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