she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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