I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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