It's just like the Real World with babies
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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