Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
