Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
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