I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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