Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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