you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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