Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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