if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
