i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
