Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
