when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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