I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize