Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
