whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
