erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
