why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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