You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
