ugly people sure do ruin things
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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