I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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