don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
