I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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