We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize