i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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