Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I smell stomach acid.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
