I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
