Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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