I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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