I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
