She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
