What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
