Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
