I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
