I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
