I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
