soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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