Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
