did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
