Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
