I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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