I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
