i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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