I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
