bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
No...this little piggys going to the bar
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
