There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
