I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize