You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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