just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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