Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize