Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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