I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize