Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
