bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
