He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
