do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
