instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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