Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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