So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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