Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
