OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize