she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
