just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
