you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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