When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
