Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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