I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
