Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
