Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
