If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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